highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
