Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize