false alarm. still invincible.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
and she was petting her beer can
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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