he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i think i have two assholes
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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