She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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