Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
