this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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