I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize
