oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm bleeding and have questions
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
