is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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