I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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