I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
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