she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
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