we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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