Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
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