She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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