Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
