I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
