Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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