no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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