remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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