On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I think people are normalizing furries
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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