dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
