We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize