i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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