im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
