Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
this beer tastes like vomit already
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize