i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
