Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize