Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
don't judge my taste in strippers
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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