the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I need moral support for this bender
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
