Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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