She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
