Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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