you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
