clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
