her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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