Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
