My friends, they love my intelligence
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
