Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
