You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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