what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
