I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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