This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
