I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
