yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
