She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
True college students do jello shots in the library
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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