Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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