PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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