See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
