I think im going to throw up on grandma
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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