but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize