Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
