Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
