this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize