i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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