So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
