I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
