Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
